Why I love presents

You can probably imagine how excited I was to receive this package in the mail the other day, from the most lovely Canadian bloggers I know.

See that contrast between light and shadow? That's called chiaroscuro. That's probably the only thing I remember from my freshman Intro. to Art History class. Well, that and contrapposto. I'm so glad I was finally able to showcase my knowledge of those words, ten years later. Thanks for the education Mom and Dad. It's really come in handy!

But as excited as I was about my special delivery, there was someone else who was even more excited, if that's possible.

Noodle sez, I can haz Wine Gums?

Pleez? I be very good.

Noodle will work for Wine Gums.

Pffft. Is too easy. Give Noodle more.

Noodle sez, Dooce dog got nothing on Noodle.

More! More! Give Noodle more sweet sweet Wine Gums!

Noodle sez, please to deposit ad revenue from Maynards people directly into slot in Noodle's back. Thx.

Uh-oh...I'z feeling a bit woozy. Must be fumes from all the Wine Gums going to Noodle's head. Also all the Wine Gums I'z ate when you wuzn't looking. Sucka!

Oh nos! Hold Noodle's ears back, I think I'z gonna be sick!

I thought he was being a bit overdramatic, so I told him to read the information on the back of the bag.

I may be dachshund, but I'z an ejucated dachshund.

Ne contient pas de vin? What the floof does that mean? Noodle don't speak no stinkin' French. Noodle took German in high school, the language of his illustrious ancestors.

Oh, sorry Noodle. Wrong one. Here.

What? No wine? No wine in Wine Gums??? Next thing Noodle knows you'z be telling him there's no gin in Gin Gerbread cookies. And beer nuts? Tell Noodle 'bout beer nuts!!!!

Noodle sez, tis travesty what is the false advertising that is allowed to pass in the world today. You all be hearing from Noodle's lawyers.

Now go get Noodle a bowl of rum raisin ice cream. I'z need to chill.